


This Happened, Shut up!

by TheForeverGirl



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, I just want everyone to be happy!, I wrote this in like an hour, don't take this seriously, it's funny i swear, the gayest thing ever, yuuri/Victor - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 03:04:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8951365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheForeverGirl/pseuds/TheForeverGirl
Summary: A miracle has occurred at the Grand Prix Finals, and it's the best thing that's ever happened.
 
Or I'm celebrating episode 12 by ignoring and rewriting it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> LOL this is a fucking joke, but I was not kidding about writing this in an hour and I didn't even proof read it. Please enjoy this mess.

  “Hello and welcome to the Grand Prix Male Figure Skating Final. It’s been a long season for our competitors. But it all ends tonight and we’ll see which one of these amazing skaters will take home the gold.

“That’s right Jim, the judges have been deliberating for quite some time now. Usually they give the scores for the skater after the performance. But the no one really cares about the rules right now, we just want to see these beautiful men skate.”

“Indeed Robert, no one really cares about the official rules of the competition. And to be honest why would you when you need to Focus on character development and the love interest drama.”

“So true, so true. I could not have said it better myself Jim.”

“Oh it looks like the judges are finally done deliberating. The whole stadium is hushed on the edge of their seats.”

“So am I Jim, so am I.”

“And the results are coming on screen now…. And we see, Oh my God I can’t believe this!”

“We have a tie for gold, ladies and gentlemen! The first in Grand Prix history!”

“Unbelievable, Robert. A six-way tie!”

“This is incredible, the crowed is loosing control!”

“I am scared for my life, but I don’t care!”

“All six of our competitors tonight have won the gold metal! And here they are!”

“I don’t know how they’re all going to stand on the podium.”

“It looks dangerous, but I can see that Yuri Plisetsky of Russia is sitting on top on Otabek Altin of Kazakhstan shoulders.”

“A wonderful testament of their growing relationship.”

“Are they friends? Are they dating? We don’t know, we just glad their playing nice.”

“You can say that again, Robert.”

“It also appears that all the competitors of the last competitions are now on the ice as well!”

“Guang-Hong Ji, Michele Crispino, Kenjirō Minami, Seung Gil Lee, Georgi Popovich, Leo de la Iglesia, and Emil Nekola. All here on the ice!”

“I do not know how this is physically possible, Robert, but I am loving every moment of it.”

“As am I, Jim, as am I.”

“Wait do you hear that Robert?”

“Yes it sounds like a wedding march.”

“Could it be?”

“Oh my God, it is!”

“Victor Nikiforov in a white suit skating his way down the rink and into our hearts.”

“There are three little girls in front of him throwing flower pedals.”

“I’m being told that they are Axel Nishigōri, Lutz Nishigōri and Loop Nishigōrifrom Yuri Katsuki’s home town.”

“And speaking of Yuri, he is crying tears of joy!”

“It is so good to see that man happy.”

“After all he’s been through, he truly deserves it.”

“Indeed he does.”

“I’m being told that Yuri’s best man is Phichit Chulanont, a wonderful choice if you ask me.”

“Yes, I agree. While Victor’s best man is an angry Yuri Plisetsky.”

“It seems that he didn’t want the job but he got angry when Victor told him that his second choice was his dog, Makkachin. So Yuri took the position. ”

“It also seems that Victor’s dog, Makkachin is here and wearing a cute little bowtie.”      

“Beautiful, just beautiful.”

“And what a lovely ceremony. All of Yuri’s family is here including his childhood pet dog Viccan back from the dead!”

“A miracle and a perversion of nature, simply wonderful!”

“They have exchanged their heartfelt wedding vows.”

“This is quite possibly the Gayest thing I have ever witness in my entire life.”

“Same here, Robert, and I’ve been to San Francisco during Pride.”

“And there going in for the kiss to cement their love in marital bliss.”

“Oh, but unfortunately they can’t show the kiss!”

“That’s right Jim, due to Japanese censorship laws they cannot show two men kissing.”

“Yes, they can show all the naked bodies and full butt nudity, but they cannot show two adults who love and respect each other, share a moment of loving and innocent without the rating being bumped up to pornographic hentai.”

“I have no idea what Hentai is.”

“That’s a lie ladies and gentlemen, I have seen his internet history.”

“Oh well, I suppose that is what fanart is for, Jim.”

“Your completely right.”

“Oh it looks like Victor is about to throw the bouquet.”

“And Michele Crispino is up front and center.”

“He says if he were to catch the bouquet he would marry his sister, Sara.”

“Mickey, we know you mean well, but that’s fucking weird.”

“Oh but he misses the bouquet!”

“And it’s caught none other than JJ!”

“And the wedding march starts up again as Isabella Yang enters the ring in a gorgeous wedding gown!”

“It is good to know that JJ has the love and support of his friends, family and fans to keep doing what he loves!”

“This is very true, and it’s also good to see the other skaters come together and share this momentous triumph.”

“All for Yuri Plisetsky, who is being a little jerk.”

“He may be a jerk, but he is quite lovable.”

“That’s why he is known has the ‘The Kitten of Russia.’”

“Indeed”

“Oh but what this?”

“Someone else is entering the ring.”

“It’s a notary with adoption papers!”

“It looks like Yuri Katsuki and Victor Nikiforov are legally adopting Yuri Plisetsky as their son!”

“A wonderful turn of events that no doubt the young skater hates.”

“Well he better get used to it or he will be grounded.”

“And it looks like another person as entered the ring!”

“It’s Yuri Plisetsky’s grandfather and he has made piroshki for everyone!”

“And when he says everyone, he literally means everyone. We have also reserved piroski as well, and let me tell you ladies and gentlemen at home they are delicious.”

“They taste like what Agape feels like!”

“Agreed, I don’t know how this could get any better!”

“It just got better, because as well as piroshki everyone here as gotten pork cutlet bowls!”

“My god, this day just keeps on giving.”

“It’s probably the best thing to have happened this year, Jim”

“That’s setting the bar low, Robert. 2016 has been a terrible year!”

“True this is probably the best thing to have ever happened in all of history.”

“Well it’s about to get better and a whole lot gayer, because for Victor and Yuri’s first dance they will be skating a duet to ‘Stay with me’!”

“I’m also being informed that the International Skating League will now be allowing Same sex duets in next year’s competition!”

“That has never been done in all of skating history!”

“Yes, but they have made the exception for Yuri and Victor.”

“Unbelievable, you heard it here first Ladies and gentlemen. Everything good that can happen has happened. Proving that anything is possible, love wins, and dreams really do come true!”

“Jim, I have always loved you!”

“My god, Robert just kiss me already!”

**Author's Note:**

> WE WERE BORN TO MAKE HISTORY!!  
> my god no ones going to read this, but if you did I want to say thank you


End file.
